V is for...

I can’t turn my abnormal brain off sometimes. And by that I mean all the time, in all situations.

Today I was trying to use a Groupon and the lady asked me to give the Groupon code. Okay, that’s simple, right?? Except she asked me to use a full word for each letter.

So J as in Jane, G as in garden, etcetera, etcetera. A fun little game, if you think about it. Easy. 

But me? I stumbled through this as if I were climbing a mountain wrought with land mines.

“V as in…as in…”

Vagina. Vagina! screamed my pesky inner voice. Except I didn’t want the lady to think I had Tourette’s. 

“Vuh…vuh…vagin…virgin…virginia!” (This took place over the course of a good 15 seconds.)

“W as in…” (Wunderbar? Weenis?)

“W as in W,” I said. Because you can’t mistake W for any other word. Duh.

“P as in…” Pee pee.  “P-Peter.”

So if there was ever any question before, I just might have Tourette’s. Except not really, because I understand it’s a horrible condition impacting your every day.

Then again, that just might prove my case.